Worse!

Felt so upset by Fyp presentation. Expectation not reach, dear eve! Just what are you thinking!! The sense of guilt, no full commitment and also the heavy responsibility of the task given, really weighs me down.. No, I'm not like any others, I don't feel relieve after my presentation. But rather, unsatisfactory and anger arose within me! The thoughts of what the lecturer say, really sank my heart. Yes, they empathy our situation, but I don't need that. I want to know what I've been working for this one month was worth it, sad to say, it wasn't as expected. I'm not blaming on the circumstances, but becos if I can't cope with what I'm dealing with now, how am I to survive in the near futures to come? How eve! U tell me how? Wake up from ur idea, wake up!

Finally, without him asking, I told him e guy that I've hiding all the while. The heartbreak that I've been through, the secure yet fearful feeling that was within me each time when I meets him. I open up. I'm hurt by what I've seen, hear or even read the past few months. Have been a fool, and always a fool. It time to move on, not becos of anyone, but because I'm hurt enough and I don't want to be hurt again. You can be very good with your lies, yes every time but did u realize one thing also? You have never been true to your heart. Using people became what was btw us. But no, I'm not going back again, I'm taking the next step.

So many thoughts running through my mind, Fyp comes to an end, exams in 2 weeks time. Am I prepare? Would I ever be? :(