Felt so upset by Fyp presentation. Expectation not reach, dear eve! Just what are you thinking!! The sense of guilt, no full commitment and also the heavy responsibility of the task given, really weighs me down.. No, I'm not like any others, I don't feel relieve after my presentation. But rather, unsatisfactory and anger arose within me! The thoughts of what the lecturer say, really sank my heart. Yes, they empathy our situation, but I don't need that. I want to know what I've been working for this one month was worth it, sad to say, it wasn't as expected. I'm not blaming on the circumstances, but becos if I can't cope with what I'm dealing with now, how am I to survive in the near futures to come? How eve! U tell me how? Wake up from ur idea, wake up!

Finally, without him asking, I told him e guy that I've hiding all the while. The heartbreak that I've been through, the secure yet fearful feeling that was within me each time when I meets him. I open up. I'm hurt by what I've seen, hear or even read the past few months. Have been a fool, and always a fool. It time to move on, not becos of anyone, but because I'm hurt enough and I don't want to be hurt again. You can be very good with your lies, yes every time but did u realize one thing also? You have never been true to your heart. Using people became what was btw us. But no, I'm not going back again, I'm taking the next step.

So many thoughts running through my mind, Fyp comes to an end, exams in 2 weeks time. Am I prepare? Would I ever be? :(

I met this very fabulous guy in year 2011, yes probably the best that I would ever get to meet.
What makes him so special is, he keep showing me the different meaning in life.
Rather than making me believe something I don't believe in, he proves it to me, time and again.
The laughter, the tears, the joy and anger, I'm grateful for all that he gave.
The memories, good and bad, sweet and bitter would always be cherished.

I don't know, but maybe meeting him was kinda fated. Despite knowing his existence yet we didn't talk, till I actually see him times and again in BBDC. Yea, it was a chance upon but well finally we chatted just some time prior to exams. He was probably a very straight forward guy who just left his no and get you to contact him, maybe it was just for fun but well, since it was his exam the next day, I mustered up the courage I never had before and just sent his a well wishes message. Since then, smsing/ texting with him seems like part of my life. A few times here and there, calls from him would just brighten up my day a lot, yea. People who knows me well, understand that I seldom talk on phone, but that was so different and that was how I learn to chat longer even with others.

The first time to see him personally after chatting was another different experience. :) I won't say what have happen, but definitely he is a very nice guy. His hug was more than anyone would give, e secure feeling that one would never forgets about, e smell that longer on so long. That probably the reason why I love to hug him so much! He always make me feel so warmth, so comfortable and so safe in his arm.

Today, at this moment, as I'm typing this post. He is no longer here, never will, never be. I wonder why but he would never tell me, maybe he just afraid to hurt me further, or maybe, I'm not worthy of him explaining why. If I still had one more chance with him, I won't say a word but I would just stand there and hug him tight letting all memories flow. Because I know that was what I missed the most, the feeling he gave me. After which, I would just walk away, never to turn again because I know at that moment I let go of hugging him, I choose to let go and if I turn back at any one point, my heart would break. So I would walk straight, wishing him all the best, and those tears that fall, would be the last that I would ever drop for him.

I never did at any point regret knowing him to liking him, I could only say, if times allow, I would love to go back once again. Because, my heart still remains at then.

I heard that you're settled down

That you found a girl and you're married now

I heard that your dreams came true

Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you

Old friend why are you so shy

Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn't stay away I couldn't fight it

I had hoped you'd see my face

And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over

Nevermind I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don't forget me I beg

I remember you said

"Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead"

Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead yeah

Lyrics provided by http://www.kovideo.net/

Source - http://www.kovideo.net/someone-like-you-lyrics-adele-1205400.html

You know how the time flies

Only yesterday was the time of our lives

We were born and raised in a summer haze

Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn't stay away I couldn't fight it

I had hoped you'd see my face

And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over

Nevermind I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don't forget me I beg

I remember you said

"Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead"

Nothing compares

No worries or cares

Regrets and mistakes they're memories made

Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Nevermind I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you

Don't forget me I beg

I remember you said

"Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead"

Nevermind I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don't forget me I beg

I remember you said

"Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead"

Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead

Stepping into 2012

Year 2011 was a memorable year, from bring attached to single, from being a very cheerful me to somewhat closing up, from a very slack person with no jobs to someone who looks forward to work everyday, being in a clique to leaving it and a lot more. I'm really grateful for the people in my live during the year 2011. Be it they are still there or not, I'm grateful for their presence at least in my life during last year, well definitely, my life change a lot.

So I spent my 30/12/2011 at work and headed off to sis house to babysit my baby boy before sending them off to Genting. This time round the sucky thing is, I'm really alone by myself and I hate it.

And my 31/12/2011? Went for lunch at this Italian restuarant, Saizeriya, which is located at Bukit Timah Plaza with my baby girl, bro and kenny~  ♥ ♥ ♥

After which we headed back to plaza for dessert and bbg went off to meet her weeeeeeeeeeee~~ :P

so we decided to slack around and thinking where to go..  which this 2 gents bought beer to my house! haha~ tempted to drink but I DID NOT as i needa fetch mummy they at night.. So i bid them farewell and rush down to jurong area and fetch them! haha.. Bro in law direction was good, at least i didn't get lost and i reach there in around 15 minutes? Fast and fierce! I like~ LOL! 

Dad bought a new jacket for me, whereas mum got me a new bracelet with the help of 4th sis and 2nd sis got me chocolates!! (Y) hahaha~ Meeting Jx to drink since I don't plan to drive out~~

It was some time away from the countdown and there was some event going on at the CC, so we decided to head there to join in their ra-ra fun~~ HAAHHA! Trust me, we had a good laugh! and I just realise I've the best MP!! :D GOGO!!

after which, we headed to shop and safe to get some mixer and bacardi from 7-11 and we drink off at the void deck under jx house while playing cards. Headed to his house to rest and kinda Ko till early morning but I didn't get drunk.. Lol

ok.. Not gonna say more~ hehehx.. needa sleep!!

Anyway to end off, I tink I've change alot~ hahahah!