my baby pass away this morning at 00.38a.m when we were on e way to e hospital..

i just blame myself for neglectin her in e past..

she never fails to wait for me at e door after school or wheneva i go..

wheneva i am sad or being bullied...

i will go to her...

and see her sad sad face will just make me laugh...

whenever she see ppl eatin..

she will be e first to follow around..

she is reali a crazy dog..

she can play on her own after we are tired..

she is a toilet train.. (by mum)

she love to sleep in my room..

near my bed there..

i rmb..

when she had one op..

she slept in my mama room..(as my sis had to go skool)

on my bed...

she actualli walk through my head...

she jus love being pat...

she likes to chew on my stuff!!!

also my past hamster. (now i noe how my hamster dead {jkjk})

all my relative praise her for being so obedience..

she never anyhow scream or howl or wad so eva without reason..

ytd on e way to e hos..

i ve a feelin she is leavin us..

but i dun wan to make it a sad point...

so i didnt take it seriousli..

still tryin to joke ard with her..

u noe,,, tryin to make her normal...

but she wasnt...

@ 00.38.. she went stiff...

she was no longer there..

we reach e hos 1 mins later..

just tat 1 mins..

if i ve notice earlier,,

all these couldnt have happen...

once we reach there...

e doc told us she was dead...

not wantin to face e truth..

i went outside...

but e next time i went in..

she is still dead..

lyin at e operation table...

so stiff...

i couldnt help but to break down..

e other dogs there were howlin...

they could sense it..

at least my darlin baby didnt past away alone..

she had shoo mani company..

after which..

e doc give us a room to spent one last time with val..

typin till here realli..

i dun feel like typin on...

i noe she is still with me..

but where is she,,

i no longer had someone chasin me ard after school..

no one to complain when i am sad...

no one to wait for me after school...

no one for me to scold and to play...

she is no longer there..

but i just cant accept e fact...

i reali miss her...

i dun understand why...

i dun blame nic for e bone..

cos tat not her fault..

but i dun understand...

why didnt i notice her ytd afternoon..

noein she wasnt feelin well..

but i choose to use e com..

and oni got out when they say she was vomittin..

val lubb me so much and this is how i treated her..

i couldnt forget e way she look at me wheneva i complain to her,....

she will lick my face..

even if i got sensative skin..

even if she also ve..

i dun mind...

but who coculd give her back to me??

but i blame myself for neglectin her after darius was born..

i still plan to buy man tou for her...

i realli..

jus plaza tat shop dun ve..

i just wanna say these to her...

VAL...

i just wanna say i'm sorry...

no dogs can replace u in my heart...

i am gonna miss u foreva..

if u eva see this..

pls go to God there..

with tai ma..

and ah yi..

uncle ..

tai gong..

and hamster also..

I LOVE YOU, VAL!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
not reali feelin well tis whole day...
mornin wake up very giddy...
den keep on lie on my bed lol...
dunno wat happenin...

==========================================================

den use com...
lookin after val...
ya..
btw ,,
val had food poisonin...
she ish feelin so sick...
keep on vomitin..
den not eatin..
she drank and vomit...
drank and vomit..
there are time when she couldnt vomit out anithing...
feelin so uncomfortable for her..
it like u wanna throw out..
but it just wun come out...
i feel shoo heart pain..
den i started blamin myself for neglecttin her ever since my nephew was born...
i feel shoo bad...
oni come to her help when she is in need..
den dunno wat e doc say...
anewax..
she is 4 years 1 month and 29 days le..!!! :)

christmas over...
party over..
stress over..
hahaha..
feelin shoo relaxin...

=====================================================

anewax..
i wanna thanks my fren who ve encourage me..
regardin tat thing...
u guys rox!!!
thanks you..

=====================================================

wanna thanks all those who help out at events...

there is ~ logistic ppls
~ cameraman
~ facilitators
~ station masters
~ emcee
~ band
~ program i/c
~ admin & prayer i/c
~ puclicity i/c
~ my ah tou ( geok and wei yan) hahas...
they are always tryin to chop off my head.. hahas..
~ pastor ong
~ uncle freddie..
~ ai zhu lao shi...

tink tat all ba..
hahas..
if i forget ur name..
pls pardon me..
i also wanna apologize to some ppl..
like my logistic ppl..
some of my station master..
i am veri sorries for being veri harsh on u guys..
since there is no gers.. :p
cos i am veri worried..
but DUI BU QI...
after shoo much...
u all ppl are still encouragin me...
thanks me for e event..
but it reali was a unforgetable time..
be it workin or havin fun with u ppl...
and there is shoo mani changes..
yet shoo mani encouragement..
from all those ppl who did not come for e event..
and those who turn up too...

=====================================================

last but not least...
i wanna thanks God for makin e event a sucessful one..
thanks God for everything he has given me..
e wisdom for e preparaion for e event..
e helpers who agree to help..
e volunteers tat volunter themself...
even though it is veri last minutes...

good night,,,
hahas..
he(my fren) make me laugh..
tellin me a joke..
hahas...

i hate it when ppl ask me what happen on tat day..
and they actualli laugh at it..
fine...
i will say it out...
sorri to those who find it offencesive...
but i dun wanna repeat...
i can feel e pain..
it happen to me..
i walk home,,,
entered e lift...
there ish this idiot guy who went in also...
he started unzippin...
yes...
but i choose not to turn back...
i was tremblein with fear..
but no one was there..
i wanted to scream but i was too scared to..
then he started masturbatin...
i dunno wat to do then..
i wanted to cry out loud...
but my voice was shut...
i was in a deep lost of wat to do...
den e door open...
i ran out..
e guy was there to...
i called for help to my sis..
they rush up...
but couldn't catch up with e guy..
how i was afraid to meet up with e guy..
but i gotta go on my daily life...
ppl tot i was just nth..
nth affected me..
how i wanted to tell them...
NONONO!!
how i was afraid to go out everyday..
my heart...
couldnt stop beatin fast...
i scared tat could happen again...
but can i help?!
i dun wan it either...
i hate it when they laugh and ask me what went wrong...
maybe oni to e ppl who suffer or gone through it themselve noe wat i am sayin deepli...
they noe how i feel..
but to all my fren...
dun anyhow judge e whole process...
cos it deeply affected our thinkin and feelin...
it make us feel tat we are thrash in e whole world...
what make it so unfair to choose us??
why??
i dun understand..
but i HATE it...

A guy and girl were speeding 100 m.p on the road on a motorcycle...

*Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.*

*Guy: No, this is fun.*

*Girl: No it's not. Please it's too scary!*

*Guy: Then tell me you love me.*

*Girl: Fine I love you. Slow down!*

*Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.*

*Girl hugs him*

*Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It's bugging me.*

In the paper the next morning:A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure.Two people were on it, but only 1 had survived.

The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then he had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.


So does such love really exist?
that's for us to find out isn't it?

fine i guess...

now is near to year
end...

but i still cant get over wat happen on e day b4
my bday...

it become part of my life...

a life which scares me whenever i am
out...

or when i am goin
home...

a life tat i have fear with
everyday...

i may seem normal...

but inside i am
failling...

i hate tat guy who causes
it...

i lost my normal self..

tat pass cheerful me are long
gone...

i am just someone who oput on a mask and goes out
everyday...

i tried prayin to
god...

but my fright is still with
me...

i dun understand...

why must i be e unlucky choosen
one...

why...

why must i be e one in e
lift...

why am i shoo stupid not to run
out...

i blamed myself for wat ve
happen...

i hate myself...

i hate tat guy!!!!!

1.Are you a chinese or a english freako?..
i am half of both bahx..

2.If the time gonna stop, wat will you possibly do?
tell him how much i ever lubb him..

3.You prefer play pool or playground?
pool..

4.Do you prefer to gossip people or people gossiping about you?.
no gossip allow.. hahas.. bad bad..



5.You like thing to be simple or complicated?
simple!!!

6.Do you tackle number or alphabets better?
number?? alphabets?? not sure lerx..

7.What make you piss off?..
when i am stress and someone irritate me!!!!!

8.How your childhood?
unforgetable.. hahax..

9.Do you have inspiration or pespiration?
dun tink so.. mind is blank..

10.Do you thing 24hour is to short or juz okie?
too short!! but God creat it.. so i am oka!!

11.Will you judge a person by its appeareance?.
no!! i judge bok by a cover.. hahas..

12.What attract your eye?.
colours..!!

13.Do you prefer dae or night?.
dae!!

14.Do you treasure thing tat you own or insatisfied desire??
everything tat god has given me!!

15.If your computer get hung wib a long document not save wat will you do?.
dunno!!

16.Do you belive in miracles?.
i believe when u say God created it!!

17.Do you get tense to forget about the past or trying to do so?-..
no bahx!!

18.In your mind what colour are there?..
black!!!!

19.Have you pitied to those who are real pity and shed tear for them?
yes!!

20.Describe yourself as in attitude?..
dunno!!

21.Do you suddenly lose a gasp of hope to survive?.
use to!!

22.Giive three advantage when you live?
for God!!

23.What urr ambition in life
serve lorg throughout..

24.Do you belive in horoscope?.
nope!!!

25.Describe music in your life?.
music is e soul to 1 life!!

26.Which country you would go if you have the money?.
Korea!!!

27.What do you think blogging about?..
anithing!!!

28.What kind of style are you trying to get hold of?.
dunno!!

29.When you fail a test,what will you do?.
Cry!!

i dunno how to live through this stressful day..
i am too stress tat i feel like cryin..
i hate my life!!!
i just talk crap due to my mood...
anewax.. i am crappers #5...


he jus piss me off too much!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dunno why???!!
maybe it was MY FAULT!!
i didnt want it either okay?!
i reali dun mean it!!
blame me if u wan..



i cant concentrate on anithing.
havin slight fever...
love them even if brain is in a very big blank..
i was force to hate them. cant decide aniting but i still hav to..

tuesday...
went to do street publicize for e christmas event..
den oni got me.. qiu.. ling.. xin rong.. geok.. and christopher..
den after which..
me xinrong jieling geok and christopher went to e arcade..
ok fine..
i was rather shock to fine tt e two older one actualli play also..
hahas..
we play and ve shoo much fun throughout..
there one test patience game..
much of it to test..
and another one is just for fun..
u actualli put in one token..
and it will roll down...
if it roll till 40 and u will ve 40 tickets.
which i got 3 times of 40..
hahas...
den we play other games too...
hehex..
we play e photo hunt..
den someone call..
so i answer..
den badbad geok go call me kuku..
hahas..
gotta end..

i was tinkin thru my past...

am i realli a pampered ger?
and i get everythin i wan?

actualli yea...

i ve always been a extreme pamper ger...
wat i wan i get...
and i jus ask my parent for it...
tats why...
although they dun everytime gib in...
but whenever they gib in abit..
my pampered percentage increase by 10%...

yes!

and at e type of ger i am...
tat why thus as i grow up...
i get to offened ppl even when i dun ve e heart to...
and everything i wan..
i will try to get..
tat e type of ger i am...
reali PAMPERED!!!

i dunno wat happen to my tag..
!!