Love

It have been a very awkward topic...
People have always been asking, why don't you get a boyfriend?
Is it that you have been hurt deeply?
Or is it that no one wants you?
Or are you lesbian? etc etc..

I've been hurt, but I've recover well..
I'm not unwanted, I've been putting people down, hurting too many..
Neither am I a lesbian, I wan a boyfriend..
and as all this sums up, I can't..
It not any of this reason too..

Many a times, I ask myself..
Would it be fair, if I were to get into a relationship now, and go overseas to study, leaving that someone all alone?
Someone once told me to wait for him to finish study, but I realize, no..
Who knows what would happen during that period of time, would I fall for another person?
Would he?
Would the distance relationship work?
Too many question, too many doubts..
n I just understand that, no, it doesn't work this way..


Whether I'm or would be going overseas to study, is still a major question..
Either way, I've been declining relationships that comes along the way..
I don't deny i do feel a thing, but I can't..
As I've said, I do not want to get into one and leave with so many doubts..
I am not prepared to be hurt along the way, I'm not..
Neither do I want to hurt anyone.
So till then, I promised myself I'll be single..
At least till, I'm assure none of this would happen along the way,,
Which I doubt so, since I can't promise myself that I would hurt no one..

I'm thankful for oppa always being there when I needed someone..
I'm aware of how things have been going, but I guess we both know it's really hard for a distance relationship to work..
We have been fighting, and is still fighting..
Thanks for always being my best friend oppa, gumawoh..
You always tell me, Love doesn't require any apology, so I need not feel bad over it..
But you made me feel worse..
Because you are suffering alone..
Believe in me, oppa~